Pregnant! What happens now?

The Birth Story

2010-05-02T11:46:00.013-07:00

At my doctors appointment on Friday April 23 things were looking similar to what they had been the last couple weeks. My cervix was still basically closed. The doctor said maybe 1 cm dilation. I had started having contractions (probably Braxton Hicks) though so I was happy that things were different even a little bit. We scheduled an induction for Monday April 26. My mom drove down on Saturday and the contractions continued irregularly. We went for Chinese and had a great time. Sunday morning Brady woke me up to have a talk about the hospital and see if I was ready for Monday. While we were talking we timed the contractions and they were 5 minutes apart so we decided to head to the hospital at about 5:30 am.
At the hospital they monitored my contraction and they were indeed 5 minutes apart, but my cervix was still closed. They sent me home and Brady went to work. I tried to fall asleep but the contractions were getting more painful. I decided to go down to the computer and blog about it, but never made it. When I stood up I hear a small pop and felt a trickle, then a gush. I looked at my pants and they were wet and went to the bathroom for further inspection and discovered a lot of blood. I knew my water had broke, so my mom and I headed back to the the hospital at around 9:30 am.
They gave me a test to determine whether or not my water had indeed broken. I was thinking "Of course it did you idiots!" I was right. It had. I was now going to stay in the hospital and deliver. Yay! Finally! We tried to call Brady, but couldn't get hold of him. So the hospital called the pediatric office that he is rotating at and tracked him down.
Contractions continued and continued and increased in intensity. Babies heart rate stayed good the whole time. They continued to check my cervix and not a lot was happening. My doctor was not on call this weekend so I was seen by a different doctor. When she checked my cervix it was so painful. I wanted to die. Also when they would check me there was a lot of blood and they were kind of concerned about it so they didn't let me eat in case they needed to rush to C section. I was starving!!! Brady kept helping me walk up and down the hallway trying to get things going and I kept smelling the food service cart and it was driving me nuts. I wanted fries bad! I also bounced on a birthing ball in my room trying to open my pelvis and get the baby to put pressure on my cervix to open it up.

My husbands parents had started on their way up from Colorado and arrived at around 1. They dropped in and out checking on me. My father-in-law was supposed to teach a lesson in church that day but out of nowhere on Friday someone called and told him that they had a feeling that he might need someone to take over for him. Isn't that cool! My husband and his dad administered a blessing to me. It was beautiful. The in-laws had a hard time seeing me in pain so they didn't stay long each time they visited. Times are approximate keep in mind, but it was around 5 pm when they checked me and I was barely a 2. My contractions had been double-peaking. On the contraction monitor they looked more like plateaus than mountains. This also meant that they were lasting pretty long. So not fun. The doctor said that contractions like that don't do much to open the cervix. They gave me fentinol for pain a couple of times, but all it really did was make me extremely tired. The doctor decided that we should hook me up to pitocin to get the contractions to be more productive. I was thinking "Dang it! Pitocin is the whole reason I didn't want an induction." But it wasn't safe to keep going the way we were going so they started the pitocin. My husband and his father decided to go get lunch at about 5:30.

They put in an IV which felt like crap. They started the pitocin slow and increased steadily. My contractions started to look more normal and increase in intensity. I'd like to take this time to say I hate pitocin! Ouch! Double Ouch! Shoot me now ouch! I tried to endure for as long as I could because I had heard that getting the epidural too soon could slow things down. However, my mom said that with her induction after she got the epidural that is when things started to happen because she wasn't so tense. By the time Brady got back from getting lunch I was in severe pain. The kind that can be compared to getting your arm ripped off by a shark. Time for the epidural. I was bawling by the time the anesthesiologist got there. I was so embarrassed. Getting the epidural wasn't bad. I don't remember it hurting too much, especially compared to the contractions. Brady held onto me the whole time.

It wasn't long before things started to look up for me. I was having contractions but couldn't feel them. They put an intrauterine monitor in so they could measure their intensity since I could no longer tell them. My mom was like "Wow that was a big one!" I was like "Oh really? Didn't notice. I am starving!" Since they had decided my bleeding wasn't a problem and would not likely need a C-section they gave me some graham crackers and orange jell-o. They were so delicious!!

Time went on and the epidural started to wear off a bit and to my disappointment I could feel the contractions coming back. I felt a lot more on my right side. My left was pretty numb. I pushed the epidural control button thinking it would get rid of them, but the button didn't do much. Must not be a very big dose after that initial one. Fast forward a bit and the doctor came to check me again. I wasn't expecting much change and me and Brady joked with the doc that I was definitely an 8 by now. Guess what! I was a 10! She said "Its time to push." It was about 10 minutes to midnight at this point.

The doctor went and got all her tools and started setting up. The nursery nurses came in and started to get the baby station ready. They asked me whether I would like the baby given directly to me or cleaned off a bit. I said I wanted it cleaned a bit. I decided I would like to watch so they pulled the mirror out of the ceiling for me. I was watching the clock and the doctor. She was taking her time and every minute brought us closer to Monday. What day my baby was born depended on her.

Finally she got into position below me, Brady on one side, my mom on the other. I told them when a contraction was coming and she told me to curl up breathe in hold my breath and PUSH! I guess it was a good thing that my epidural had worn off some because I could actually feel myself pushing. My head was killing me and I vomited the orange jell-o after one of the contractions. I must have done a good job pushing because after about 3 contractions I could see a weird wrinkled scalp in my vaginal opening. Awesomely gross and you so wanted to know that huh. But it was weirdly awesome. Next contraction out came my babies head! She looked shocked. The doctor just pulled her out from there. I didn't push the rest out. She was out at 12:07 Monday April 26. I started to cry out of relief that she was alive and out. They clamped the cord and Brady cut it. I heard baby Aurora try to inhale and cry a couple of times and could hear fluid when she did. She didn't look good. She was totally blue. They took her to the baby station and started to suction her mouth and she turned floppy. I am not sure all what happened after that because I had to deliver the placenta. I just know I didn't hear any crying. Brady did not look well, but tried to look calm for me. The nurses then rushed the baby to the nursery and after making sure it was cool with me Brady went with them. My mom stayed with me while the doctor stitched me up a little. Then she went to check on the baby. All the other nurses went as well and said they would be back with news. It was just me and my mom... waiting.

After what felt like forever, and maybe it was, I said "Mom could you go check on the baby and really come back and tell me what is going on?" So she went. I don't remember who all came back Brady, my mom, and either a nurse or my doctor came back to tell me that my baby had inhaled some fluid, possibly muconium, a blood clot (I passed some with the placenta) or amnionic fluid, into her lungs and that the nurses were working hard to get it out. Brady was tremendously worried and left again to go see if he could do anything. He knows enough from being a medical student that her condition was not good. Her first apgar score was a 3, her second a 5. She remained blue and floppy.

I was not feeling well. I indeed felt awful physically and emotionally and any other way possible. But I was calm. I didn't cry. I don't remember all the things they do to you when you finish labor but I know that all their procedures took forever. I couldn't feel or move my left leg. They got me into a wheelchair somehow and took me to my recovery room. They told me I should shower but I was in no mood. I was so tired. Never have a been so tired. Plus how would I shower with a dead leg anyway. They got me into my bed and rested from what I can remember.

My baby was hooked up to an IV put under an oxygen hood and was NPO (couldn't eat anything by mouth) and confined to the nursery. I used a breast pump to collect my colostrum to bring to her once they started to allow her food. I think that I was wheeled to the nursery to see her at least once because I remember watching her fight to push that hood off her head and letting her hold my finger, but it wasn't until about 14 hours after delivery that I got to hold my baby and nurse her for the first time. She was so precious and I was so happy to finally get to interact with her. We had to hold a tube that blew oxygen up to her face while I held her and the the arm with the IV was taped to a cardboard rectangle which made things super difficult, not to mention that I wasn't in the most supportive chair.

I continued to pump colostrum from my room and make visits to nurse her in the nursery. She remained under the oxygen hood for most of our stay at the hospital. They monitored her oxygen saturation. She would do well but then it would get low again and they would have to increase the oxygen. They decided that it was amniotic fluid and not muconium or a clot that she had inhaled. They gave her antibiotics through her IV to make sure she didn't get an infection.

We were worried that she wouldn't be able to go home with me since her antibiotic treatment would last 72 hours and insurance only allowed me two days in the hospital. Luckily, since she was born after midnight, that gave me an extra day in the hospital. On that last day they finally brought her to my room for the first time. She had an oxygen tube in her nose still, but I at least had a better seat for nursing in my hospital bed. After doing an x-ray to check her lungs for fluid and finding none, they said we could go home. Yay!

Life has been pretty crazy ever since. I had no idea that being a mom was this hard and I've even had a lot of help these last couple weeks. I have never been so tired in all my life. I am really grateful that I got off my sleeping pills before she was born. I have been able to nap when she naps for the most part, although it does take me a little time to fall asleep. I have been breastfeeding, but have to use a nipple shield because I have flat nipples. Great huh! Hopefully eventually I will be able to feed her without it. It isn't a very convenient thing to deal with. But, I love her and will do everything to make sure she is happy and as healthy as can be. So far, she is doing great and doesn't have have any lasting effects from her rough start and I am so glad.

Yay Contractions... or not

2010-04-23T12:36:00.002-07:00

Yesterday evening I started to have contractions! To me, it kind of felt like being kicked all over at once and when I felt my stomach with my hand that's kind of what it felt like too. A big rock. They continued all night. Not at regular intervals or anything;but still, I totally thought I would be in labor today. I'm not though. They were those fake contractions (Braxton Hicks). That's what the doctor said today when he checked me and I'm still pretty dang near closed. He said 1 cm dilated and 75% effaced. One centimeter-- that is progress, but not the kind I was hoping for with all those "contractions." Doctor says its time for baby to get out, so I am scheduled for induction on Monday.
Funny to note that Monday will be April 26 which is the day that I had first stated as my due date due to my long menstrual cycles. It was my doctor who wanted to keep with basing my due date off the first day of my last period. So like it or not she will make that due date and I can say that I was right all along.

Its a long wait till Christmas

2010-04-16T21:57:00.002-07:00

That is what my doctor said when he walked into the room today. He had promised me a couple weeks ago that she would be here by Christmas and that he is always right on his predictions. With the way the days are dragging on, it feels like a couple Christmases should have passed by now. I am still not dilated...... but I am about 75% effaced. I was unaware, but last week he put me at around 25% effaced. So I am making some progress!! If I continue at this rate I could go into labor sometime this week. Take note that my due date is tomorrow though, so that would be ideal for me. I have another office appointment scheduled for next Friday, if I don't go into labor before then. And at that point they will schedule an induction for the next Monday or Tuesday (26th or 27th). Please Please Please pray that I don't need that. I really don't want an induction. However, if that is the way things happen, at least my mom will be there for the delivery since she can drive out over the weekend. Well that's all for now. Maybe I will take a 40 week photo tomorrow.

The No-News News

2010-04-12T13:06:00.002-07:00

Nothing is happening. I had my last visit to the OB on Friday and he said my cervix is unchanged still. He said that he would start to think about getting the baby out if its the same story this Friday. I told him I would like to wait a bit longer and he said he would give me till a week over my due date. So thats the story. By choice or by force she will be here in the next two weeks. Hoping she comes on her own soon!

Fat Foot with no Ankle

2010-04-08T15:05:00.003-07:00

My little sister and Dad came out to visit me and we did a lot of walking during those couple of days. The night before they left my feet started to itch real bad so I took off my sock to check it out and discovered my feet had grown super fat and my ankles disapeared. Yuck!

I really hurt!

2010-04-03T19:25:00.003-07:00

Every kick and movement is agonizing and it feels like she is trying to push through my closed cervix and kick through my belly button. I am so done with being pregnant. I want to get Brady a pregnancy suit and have him go grocery shopping, clean house, etc. I wake up choking on stomach acid while having drowning nightmares. Get out of my belly baby!

Closed

2010-04-01T15:56:00.002-07:00

The doc says its going to be awhile. My cervix is shut and the head is not dropped, however it is down. He says that if mother nature doesn't take over and make some changes soon he wouldn't be suprised if I went over my due date. Yuck! I'm quite disappointed. I want the baby out by the due date of course! However, I would rather wait till my body decides than be induced, as long as everything is alright with the baby. So don't get too excited because it could be awhile.

Baby Shower

2010-03-27T19:30:00.003-07:00

Last week my good friends Megan and Kelly threw me a baby shower. Kelly is an awesome friend who moved from Iowa when we did with her medical school husband. Megan moved here around the same time with her husband from Idaho. Kelly just had her first baby in January and Megan will have her first in July. I am so glad to them as friends and it is so nice to have friends with lives so similar to mine right now. Everyone who came to the shower was from our church, except one who is a female medical student also from Iowa. I am pretty lucky to have had a shower since I don't really know too many people here. It was way fun and I am so glad I did!

Almost time!

2010-03-26T14:07:00.002-07:00

Three more weeks till my due date. I am super excited to have the baby in my arms and not my belly. Everything looks right on track. I am measuring exactly where I should. Her heart rate is good. She seems to be head down. Next week they will start to check my cervix to see if I am dilating.
I am going to try to be off Trazadone by the time she gets here. I didn't take any last night and didn't sleep well, but as long as I don't get the crazy withdrawal effects I am going to be okay. I figure my body will eventually have to give in to sleep. I am okay with having trouble with that; I mean I am having a hard time from pregnancy itself. What I am worried about is the discontinuation syndrome that I got last time I tried to stop. Good thing is this time I am have a doctors help.
On new pregnancy side effects I have to add painful hands and feet. Its tough to close a fist. They don't look obviously swollen but they do feel odd and uncomfortable.
I have started to wash baby clothes and blankets and I packed my hospital back. So now I am ready whenever she is. But I gotta be patient!

Maternity Photos

2010-03-16T16:16:00.002-07:00

I had a lot of fun a couple weekends ago getting some maternity photos taken. My brother in-law and sister in-law were super nice enough to do them for me. I felt super glamorous and even beautiful. I don't have any digital copies so I took a picture of one of the pictures to post on here. Isn't it great!

UTI Round 2

2010-03-16T16:05:00.003-07:00

I have another Urinary Tract Infection. However, I am looking at this as a good thing because my sinuses are still really swollen too. I started an antibiotic today that will hopefully clear both! Yay I may be all better soon!

Sick and Pregnant

2010-03-11T12:55:00.002-07:00

So I have been in various stages of sick since the end of February. It started with a cough and congestion in the morning for a week, then it went to killer sore throat, low fever and body aches for a couple days, then my nasal passages all but swelled shut. Thats what I've slowly recovering from now. My throat is still sore and my nostrils are still swollen but I am managing with some Sudafed, Netti Pot rinses, and an indugent nasal spritz before bed. It feels like this is lasting forever and I hope I don't catch something else before I get better. Good news for me is today at my OB appointment he declared that I have lost three pounds (probably from being sick) so I decided I deserved a bag of donuts as a reward for all my suffering. I am so in love with pastries lately and chocolate milk. I have been drinking a lot of chocolate milk to make up for all the time that it made me sick earlier in my pregnancy.

I swear its the snow boots!

2010-02-25T15:37:00.002-07:00

If there were ever a need for concern about me not gaining enough weight, THAT NEED IS GONE! I am about at what I had planned not to go over. At this rate I will pass my goal weight in two weeks. I have 7 weeks to go! My doctor says that my weight is fine, but to try and only gain a pound a week from now on. I had them weigh me a second time without my snow boots on because at this point every pound counts to me. And to my relief, taking the snow boots off lost me 3 lbs. Thank goodness! So how will I do this, only gain a pound a week? Maybe I will stop using brownies, candy, and milkshakes as half of my food source. A quarter sounds good right? Maybe when I go out to eat 6 times in one weekend with my in-laws I will only order a salad. Probably not. Maybe I will stop talking so much in swim class and work out harder. Yea I can do that. So there you have it. Hopefully this baby will come a little early so I can stop all this impatient boredom eating.

Dreams

2010-02-17T11:10:00.004-07:00

I have been having some crazy dreams. So far I have had two strange breastfeeding dreams and last night I had a crazy birth dream. I went into labor and it only lasted a couple of minutes and out came my cat. Perhaps I had this dream because I was thinking before I fell asleep that my friend Kelly's baby weighed as much as my cat (8 lbs) at birth. Anyways, things only got worse after that in my dream. I delivered the placenta and all that junk on the ground outside alone. Then later in the hospital I really had to pee but I was so afraid to do it because no one had told me how I should wipe now that I had a stitched up perineum. Sleep is so stressful! Every time I wake up from these dreams I am soaked in sweat.

Free Ultrasound

2010-02-15T10:30:00.002-07:00

Friday I went to a place called Carenet for a free ultrasound. They are free because they are done by people who are training. It was so fun! My mother-in-law came up from Broomfield, Co to go with me. She said being at the ultrasound made her just want the baby out; I have to agree. Here are the things that I learned from the ultrasound:
Baby is definantly a girl
She likes to suck her hands and feet
She can open and close her eyes
She is a little less than than 4 lbs
She has really long fingers and big looking feet
She is about 3 days smaller than her due date
She has a beautiful healthy brain and heart
She has a sweet face that I can't wait to kiss!

Finished Knitting the Baby Pants

2010-02-10T22:03:00.003-07:00

30 Weeks and Looking Good ( ;

2010-02-06T15:50:00.002-07:00

Waddle, Early Mornings, Big Movement

2010-02-04T15:05:00.004-07:00

I am officially a waddler. At the church yesterday, some ladies from the Relief Society giggled as I walked by and informed me that I do the pregnant waddle. And yes, I can feel it; I do waddle. I feel enormous and somehow waddling just works better for getting from place to place.

For the past few weeks I have been waking up at around 5 am and not on purpose. I am still going to bed at the same time (around 1), so this is a big pain for me. Generally I can get back to sleep for a few more hours, but not until after Brady has left for work. I think it all started when Brady was doing his infectious disease rotation and was waking up not too far from this time to get ready to leave. So the time in between me waking and him leaving was not too long. Unfortunate for me, but fortunate for him, he hasn't had to be to work till around 8:30-9 since he started this new rotation. Thats quite a big gap where I am waiting around to go back to sleep. It is harder and harder to do the longer the gap. I hear that the further you get in pregnancy the harder it is to sleep because you are just so uncomfortable... so it looks like I am getting some early training in for the sleepless nights I will have once the baby is here.

The baby is alive and well. She makes this known to me in marathon jab sessions. It is no longer just little pokes or gassy sensations. It is big body parts trying to puncture through my belly and daily I can feel her literally kicking my butt from the inside. Sometimes she kicks me so hard it startles me and I jump. Boy this pregnancy thing is weird!

Rhogam Shot

2010-02-01T13:48:00.002-07:00

Today I got the Rhogam shot. It is a shot they give to mothers who have a negative blood type. It will prevent me from making antibodies for positive blood types, should my baby turn out to have one. If she does, then I will get another one after her birth. If I didn't get the shot, and my baby had a positive blood type then the next time I get pregnant the antibodies that I would create might attack and destroy the new baby if its blood type was postive. Pretty smart that they figured all this out I think. I would hate to be back in the day when they didn't know about this kind of stuff.

Kitty Attention and Blood Test Results

2010-01-25T17:24:00.002-07:00

My growing belly recieved some attention from my cat today. It was hilarious. I was sitting there watching a labor video with the nurses that visit me and Cabello came over and sat nose-to-belly and just stared. I wonder if he could see it moving or if he could hear something... who knows. It was just so funny to see staring so intently at my belly. That was the first time he has really paid it any irregular attention.
The nurse from my doctors office called to let me know that my glucose test came back normal, but that I am anemic. So I will start taking an iron supplement. No big deal. Just might be a reason I have been really tired. Nothing to worry about though.

3rd Trimester!

2010-01-23T18:04:00.002-07:00

Happy first day of the third trimester!

Brady finally felt the baby move last night!

2010-01-21T15:28:00.001-07:00

Glucose Test

2010-01-20T18:18:00.002-07:00

Today I went in for the glucose test. They have you drink some sugar drink, sit for an hour, then they draw your blood. I had heard that the stuff you drink was really bad, like choking down a glass full of sugar. The lab tech even said "Try not to throw up or we will have to try again on a different day." I have to say that I liked the stuff. Reminded me of that juice you get at the gas station for kids called Bug Juice. I could drink it more often. I didn't get the test results today. I am sure they will be fine though.
On a followup to my previous post about the UTI, those antibiotics they gave me are making me feel pretty nasty,nitrofurantoin. Nausea and diarrhea. No fun. I almost almost done with them though. It isn't any worse than having morning sickness and it beats an irritated feeling in the woo hoo.

Urinary Tract Infection

2010-01-14T11:30:00.004-07:00

Yesterday I woke up with super super discomfort down there. I went into the ob gyn and they did a catheter urine collection (super not fun). Now I am taking some antibiotics for a Urinary Tract Infection. I hate hate hate UTI! It feels like life should just stop until I get relief.
I also went to see a psychiatric nurse yesterday. She is starting me on Zoloft to see if we can't get me through this pregnancy in one piece.
Then I had quite the breakdown last night because I couldn't get my internet router to work right. I want to watch Netflix on my Xbox, but since I have started to use a router my internet signal is either super low or dies out, which turns off whatever movie I am watching. After a bad day all I wanted was to just relax with a movie but instead I spent about two hours on the phone with my brother trying to fix it and it still isn't fixed. Not only that but the connection isn't secure so whatever Joe Shmo wants to steal my signal is free to it. Every time I secure the signal I lose it altogether. And I just can't get over it and walk away. I just think about it over and over. Who I should call or see or google to get it fixed... What I should say to them... Ideas about whats wrong or how I can fix it... All blasted night!!! Argggggg! !@!%#%
I hate life right now. I really do.
I have my OB appointment later today, so maybe then I will have something to say that is actually relevant to the pregnancy blog.

Added later:
I am pretty sure that my computer and router are fixed. I ponied up some dough to get a technician from the router company to configure and secure it for me. Things are looking brighter. At my OB appointment they got me some more pills for my UTI, to help with the discomfort. They make my pee bright orangey red, which I find delightfully amusing. Everything looks fine with the pregnancy. He says I measure 26 weeks, which is only 5 days off of my actual 26 weeks and 5 days. Which, would make sense to me since I think I may be a little less far along because of my long cycles. Heart rate 152. Weight gain fine.

Poop

2010-01-12T15:57:00.003-07:00

Yup I am going to talk about poop. Sorry, but I have to document everything or else this wouldn't be a complete pregnancy journal.
I've read over and over how pregnancy makes you constipated. Well guess what! Not me. Pregnancy has actually regulated my bowels. I used to be lucky if I went twice a week. I had hemorrhoids and Irritible Bowel Syndrome. Now I am going almost every day and haven't noticed any hemorrhoids. So, for all the negative side effects I've had, take note that pregnancy has fixed my pooper.

Knitting and "Popping the Pubes"

2010-01-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

I have collected a lot of patterns that I would like to make for my baby and finally got the motivation to get started. I just finished these booties. Next I am going to start on some baby pants made out of sock yarn.

Not a whole lot to report on the pregnancy.

I had Brady try a OMM (osteopathic manipulative medicine) procedure he learned in school a year or so ago called "popping the pubes" on Sunday because a friend of mine said that it is good for treating pubic symphesis problems. I think that it did help a bit because it wasn't as painful to do certain things in swimming class on Monday as it was last week. I think I will have Brady do this procedure every week and hopefully it will keep things bearable.

I wish time would go faster! It still seems like I have forever. 100 days to go!!!

I can still see you feet!

2009-12-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction

2009-12-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever jumped into a pool that you thought was deep but wasn't and ended up hitting the bottom straight legged? If you have you know the sharp shocking pain that travels through your legs. That is what I would compare the pain I have been having in my crotch when I walk to. Not every step is all that bad. In fact, today it was pretty mild; but yesterday there were steps in which I thought I may drop to the floor. Unfortunately, yesterday was also the day that I was with Brady's family in Las Vegas. I felt like a major party kill. I was as slow as an elderly person and about as fun too. We had to get a taxi back to our car because I am such a handicap. They were really sweet and understanding. Pregnancy is so much fun!

People are starting to notice that I'm pregnant now. A lot of people were checking me out at the airport and I had my first stranger ask me when I was due in the airport bathroom. And its true what they say about everyone you know wanting to touch your stomach. Its like a pregnant belly is a magnet. It doesn't bother me as much as it bothers a lot of women I've talked to though. However, its just started and I've got about 4 months to go.

Bla Bla Bla

2009-12-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

I have been totally depressed lately. I feel pretty awful most of the time. I don't know how I am going to get through the holidays where everyone is cheerful and I am supposed to be too. I swear that I feel lonely, but when I am around Brady everything appears so negative and I end up being mean to him. I feel like not leaving my bed ever again.
I don't really want to get on more antidepressants because Medicaid is not permanent and I don't want to deal with needing meds and med management and not having insurance.
I went to the OB today. I have lost 4 lbs? Since when, yesterday? I don't get all this weight loss/gain crap. I'm not going to worry about it. I am doing my best.
I now have pain in my left front-to-back crotch bone when I stand. It feels like I have been kicked and bruised there. Its been like that for about 2 weeks. They say its the cartilage loosening up to prepare for the baby to come through. It will probably only get worse until delivery. Oh Joy.
I feel bad that I am veing so negative, but thats just how I feel.

Ginormous!

2009-12-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

I am not sure I want to keep growing. Pregnant bellies are starting to freak me out. I cannot bare to think of how large I am going to grow. I already can barely stand the sight of my big belly now. I've gained about 9 pounds in the last 5 weeks! But I guess that makes up for not gaining anything in the weeks before that. I'm right about at the average pregnancy weight gain for my 22 weeks now. But, hopefully I don't continue to grow at this rate. I'll take a pound a week max from now on thank you.

On another note, I feel the baby move daily. It feels weird. Kind of like big gas bubbles, but not in the usual gas spots and without the gas finding its way out.

I wish I were done already, or at least closer to being done. I know it will go fast, but I'm just not looking forward to the big uncomfortable phase. My friend Kelly is in her last month and she doesn't look like she's having fun. She doesn't even have regurgitation or reflux like I have. That lucky duck never even threw up. Hopefully I am rewarded for my ailments with a nice happy baby.

Ultrasound!

2009-12-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

Today was the ultrasound and I loved it!!! I wanna do it again! Well except for the part where I had to drink 32 oz. of water and hold it till after the test. Our baby is sooooo cute! I can't wait to get her out and kiss her and squeeze her and love.... Did you catch that... She's a Girl!

Week 19

2009-11-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

Regurgitation... yuck! I am no longer forcibly vomiting, yay! But, after eating I am constantly being revisited by my food in a milder manner. It is constantly climbing my throat and at the slightest burb, back in my mouth. It goes on for hours. So far I have not been able to follow the advice given to keep reflux at a minimum. They say eat small meals, but I have been starving for months. Now that I can eat without throwing up I have a hard time stopping before I am fully satisfied.
Now that I am eating my belly is becoming noticably bigger. I haven't felt it lately, but for a while there I could feel pain in my belly button from the stretching. I had a hernia repair right around there when I started high school, which didn't go so successful, so I have a lot of scar tissue that is protesting the transition to prego tummy.
My husband and I are getting very excited to find out the sex of our child! Shouldn't be long now.

Weight Gain

2009-11-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

Just got finished with my nurse's house visit and guess what, I gained 4 pounds since our last visit a little over two weeks ago. She says that finally puts me in the acceptable range! Probably the only time I will ever celebrate weight gain and I will enjoy it while I can. Wahoo!

17 weeks

2009-11-08T18:10:00.001-07:00

I have been feeling pretty good for the last couple days and have had a good appetite. Up to this point I haven't gained any weight (although it may look like it). I'm pretty sure that if I have more days like these last couple that will change pretty soon. Which is probably a good thing and will make my nurse happy, but I still dread it. I guess I hadn't mentioned my nurse till just now so I will explain that. As part of a program called Nurse/Family Partnership, I have a nurse named Marianne who comes out to my house every week and teaches me stuff (sometimes not even pertaining to pregnancy). She also weighs me and takes my blood pressure. It is free, so I figured "why not?". Sometimes we have some interesting conversation, but sometimes she is just boring and I wish she would hurry up, finish and leave. Fortunately, she says she is going to come every other week now instead of every week. She will continue to come once I have the baby and make sure that we are bonding well. She is also a certified lactation consultant so she can help me if I am having problems with that.

These past couple weeks Brady has been doing his Ob/Gyn rotation, which has been interesting to hear about. He has been a lot more interested in our pregnancy lately and we have been learning some things together when he is home. It is a busy profession, so he is called in a lot. Women are having babies all the time! Some people have wondered, since he is studying to be a doctor, if he is going to help deliver our baby. I don't think that he will. I would rather him fully take on the role of husband and labor partner and stay by my head. Plus, on a gross personal note, I don't want him to have to avoid the mental picture of my huge torn and bleeding vagina later on.

I am exciting that he is getting more exciting. We are getting pretty anxious to see what this baby is going to turn out to be. He is hoping for a girl. I always said I wanted all boys, but now I find that I don't mind either way. A girl would be just fine with me. I think that we will find out what it is at the beginning of December. So, not too much longer. What do you think that I am having?

New Record

2009-11-03T22:08:00.000-07:00

Puke at 10pm! Thats a new record for the latest time of the day. But I think this time it was because I ate too much.

15 Week Update

2009-10-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

The Pregnant Pukes are still around. Usually I only puke once a day though, about an hour after waking up. This past week I have experienced acid reflux and a little heartburn. I hate the feeling of food or acid climbing up your throat all the time. So far I have just been popping Tums for it, but do have some liquid antacid on hand just in case it gets intolerable.
My OB appointment on Monday was good. The doctor says that my uterus now feels like it corresponds to what it should for 15 weeks. I listened to the baby heartbeat for longer this time. He said that it was beating 152, which is normal. That's all I have to report.

Baby Bump or Constipation? You Decide.

2009-10-15T16:36:00.000-07:00

13 weeks
8 weeks

Heartbeat!

2009-10-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

I heard babies heartbeat today for the first time. I burst out laughing for some reason, but I am so relieved. I have had this fear that it wasn't really alive and now I know IT IS! The doctor says, for the due date, they go by the first day of the last menstrual cycle even if the periods are irregularly long like mine. So...that skips me forward a week to April 17, instead of April 26, my prior estimation. I have changed the baby widget to reflect this. I want to be on the same page as the doctor. Nonetheless, the doctor did say that my uterus is small for where I am in the pregnancy. He says it feels more like 10 weeks than 12. At week 20 when we do the ultrasound he says we will adjust the due date if we need to. By the way he looks a lot more like what I am comfortable having my doctor look like. He was not wearing western clothes like the doctor at the community center, so I think I will keep him. Yay I have a doctor and a baby with a heartbeat! Good day.

Trip to Colorado

2009-10-05T18:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we got back from a weekend tip to visit with Brady's friend from Utah, Davey, who flew out to meet us in Broomfield, Colorado, where Brady's parents are living. It was a fun trip. We took the cog train near Colorado Springs to the top of Pike's Peak, which is 14,150 feet high. It was a lot more fun for me than hiking to the top. I am not a fan of hiking up. They had a little gift store and treat shop at the top to escape the negative two degree weather outside. I had chocolate donuts and hot chocolate. On the ride down I started to feel nauseous, but managed to hold down the hot chocolate climbing back up my throat until I got of the train and hid behind a big dumpster. Unfortunately, for the rest of the outing I had to wear a portion of my stomach contents on the bottom of my pant legs from the splash. We also visited the Garden of the Gods which was extremely cool and free. I couldn't believe the guy who was free climbing the rocks! So dangerous! It was a fun trip weekender. I always have a great time with Brady's family.

Yep Still Pregnant

2009-10-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

The break is over.

The End?

2009-09-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't trown up all week. Am I still pregnant?

Freak out!

2009-09-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

So embarrassed in from of myself! I freaked out and threw stuff all over the house, kicking and screaming, because I couldn't find my keys and needed to go run an errand real fast. Got so upset that I began throwing up. Stupid keys were in my pocket.
And later that evening, after craving egg drop soup all day, I walked to a Chinese resaurant wich turned out to be closed and began bawling about it.

Please Don't Be My Doctor!

2009-09-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had my first visit to the doctors. They did a lot of questioning and some blood work. They also listened for a heart beat and did not get one yet. They say that my due date is April 17; however, I still believe it is later due to my long cycles. I am not at a regular OB/Gyn office which makes me uncomfortable. I am at the Community Health Center so the doctors are just family practice dudes and the doctor assigned to me is just a resident. I haven't actually seen him yet. The doctor that I did see was super weird looking. When I first saw him while I was in the waiting room I silently prayed that he wouldn't be my doctor. Straight from a western movie (boots, wranglers, leather stringy neck thingy with gun holster accesory to keep it fastened, two long hangy beard thingies on each side of his chin). The only doctor thing about him was the stethescope. I have this day-nightmare when looking at him of him doing a gyn exam or a sugery and his beards getting down in in the mess. I think that I am going to call around and see if I can't go someplace else where the doctors look more normal. I can do that now that I have MEDICAID!!!!! Thats right! I don't have to worry about that anymore. I am going to survive financially. Why stay at the ghetto community health center if I don't have to, right? I feel kind of bad saying that since one day my husband will be a resident and people will have to let him be their doctor before he becomes an official physician. Brady said he even has to do some rotations there later this year. But this is my first baby. Can't I be the practice rat later?! That is if there is a later. Mothers must forget all about this first trimester business or I don't see why anyone would do it again.
What else is new... I have the boobs of a Victoria's Secret model! Thats nice to look at, but why do they have to hurt so much! However, they don't hurt quite as much as they did that first month. So overall I would say I am looking pretty hot. I have lost a couple pounds due to the vomiting and haven't started to show any pregnancy signs on the outside. My shape is quite nice. The only downer is my face. I have acne and can't do much about it because acne medication isn't to be used during pregnancy.
I finished a great pregnancy book that I highly recommend. It is called The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. It cracked me up. There is nothing better than learning and being entertained at the same time.
Thats all for now.

Spagetti Yay!

2009-09-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

I had two helping of Spagetti for dinner tonight about 2 hours ago and they remain in my belly. I am so happy!

Scratch my previous post

2009-09-09T12:54:00.000-07:00

The smell of my own crap made me puke. Great ): It was nice while the vacation lasted.

Haven't vomited since Sunday morning!?

2009-09-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

Not quite sure why its stopped, but its a nice vacation.

Pregnant Pukes

2009-09-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

They need a new name for morning sickness. If that is the name, then that should be the only time the sickness is allowed to happen. I get sick then, but I get sick at noon, 3, and 7 too. So, my new name for it is The Pregnant Pukes. If anyone has any other suggestions let me know.
I thought I had gotten them nailed to predictability for a while there, no puking after 4 pm. But that changed yesterday when after the first morning puke I didn't puke again until evening, where I did so with a vengeance in the Perkin's bathroom. We are talked Exorcist propulsion, volume, and duration. Such force that after reaching the toilet with still more energy to burn it splooshed out onto the floor and my feet. Wow, don't ever think you are safe and drink a whole glass of Sprite!
An interesting thing I have found it that I do have a little control over when it happens sometimes. For example, later yesterday evening at Walmart I was able to change my mind mid-dry-heave when I realized that the bathroom there was even too dirty for such a foul act. I just decided I couldn't do it there and got up and left.
And much to my dismay, sitting around watching movies and taking it easy does not help the Pregnant Pukes. In fact, quite the opposite. I thought I was getting an excuse to do nothing, but to no avail. Doing stuff actually helps. Oh well, maybe when I get fat I can use that as my excuse.

No More Fat Days!

2009-09-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

I went shopping with my friend Kelly who is also pregnant (I believe she is 22 weeks) at a store I think is called Motherhood and bought a few things and I had a realization. Why deal with regular pants ever? I can't believe we women have been subjecting outselves to non-expandable waist bands all these years. I mean who ever has a consistent waist line? Pants that fit in the morning need to be unbuttoned by dinner. Pregnant women get the luxory of jeans with elastic bellies. I plan on wearing these jeans as soon as possible! Who needs to wait till your showing to get in on these awesome clothes?! I might just wear these sorts of pants for the rest of my life. No more fat days! Free to bloat without fear!!

P.S. My toilet and I are getting really close these days.

In with a blahhhhh

2009-08-31T12:23:00.000-07:00

Well six weeks is here with a blaaa! In case you didn't understand that, that was the sound of my gagging in the toilet. Man do I feel nauseous.

Pretty Freaked Out!

2009-08-30T14:56:00.000-07:00

So I pretty much lost my mind when I discovered that we make $300 more that what is allowed for Medicaid. I am still going to apply just in case they will let it slide, but boy am I freaked out. What will I do? I happened to mention in my Facebook status how freaked out I was without an explaination as to why, something along the lines of "I am so screwed. I can't believe this is happening to me. bla bla bla." Note to self: Keep that stuff to yourself unless you are ready to share the big P news. I started getting phone calls and numerous comments as to what was going on. I just need to take a deep breath and realize it will all work out somehow. By the way that new widjet on my blog that shows what my baby looks like right now is pretty creepy!! Ewww!

Minerals?

2009-08-28T14:52:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the library and checked out a load of pregnancy books. After reading that a sign that your pregnant could be a metallic taste in your mouth, I had an "aha" moment. I remember my trip to Thermopolis mineral hot springs a few weeks ago. After spending some time in the mineral hot tub the night previous, I assumed that the mineral taste I had in my mouth was my mouth excreting the minerals it had absorbed during the dip. However, my husband did not have that taste in his mouth. It wasn't unpleasant, just odd. And it went away probably within a couple days. How weird that that could have been an indication that I was pregnant! Also this adds to the miraculousness of the pregnancy. I spend a lot of time in hot water that trip. Isn't that one of the things that makes you infertile or miscarry? It is absolutely amazing that the embryo survived that.
On a more private, probably shouldn't even be sharing it, note, I can remember the exact time of conception. Ironically my mate specifically said something to the effect of "I am going to give you a baby right now." Not that he hadn't said that before, but this time it actually came true. HaHaHa!

Fruit Smoothie Dispenser

2009-08-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Today I became a human fruit smoothie dispenser. The smoothie consisted of a banana, a nectarine, and a glass of grape juice. All eaten seperately, combined in the belly, and reemerging a wonderful shade and consistency. They were dispensed at such an intense speed that they exited both the mouth and the nose simultaneously.

Thats right!

2009-08-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

As of Sunday, August 23, 2009, I am aware that I have been knocked up. I was not expecting it. I figured, through google research, that the reason my breasts ached constantly for weeks and I had those almost-that-time-of-the-month cramps that had persisted for the week previous was I must suffer from a hormonal imbalance. Pregnancy was nowhere in my range of possibilities. I would have thought I were going through early menopause before I thought of pregnant. Why you say? Well, it is basically impossible to tell when I am ovulating. My cycles can be anyone between 30-45 days. It seemed impossible for someone so irregular to ever time the deed just right, especially with a medical student for a mate. Way to busy to get busy. Doubly impossible for someone who was not even trying to time the dead.
So how did I ever find out? Well, during my recent trip to Utah my mom suggested that since I was heading to my dad's and would most likely find myself in the hot tub it would be best to test just in case. Wouldn't want to boil the poor thing on accident.
So, I peed on the stick and got a solid line and a faint line. What is with that!!! Was I kind of pregnant? My dad said "I think that is a no", but I remembered reading online in my hopeful days that any amount of that second line that exists had to come from the pregnancy hormone. I would pray that just a speck would show... but nope always negative. Fast forward to test two the next morning (they say the hormone is higher in the morning so I knew I would get a good answer then), the second line was darker but still faint. So here I am a few days later with test 3 (digital so that I can skip all that line nonsense) and it says PREGNANT.
I am not sure how I feel. Yes I want kids. But I wanted more control. When your trying to conceive I imagine succeeding is a much more exhilarating thing. But I wasn't trying; it just happened. I didn't succeed, it is just chance and partly miraculous. So I guess I am just amazed and scared. I don't have health insurance. I just recently moved to Wyoming so I don't know any doctors or women who have had babies here. What do I do? Will I even be able to get insurance with this "pre-existing condition"? I plan on applying for medicaid, so if all else fails hopefully I can fall back on it.
So here I am 5 weeks along (according to the Internet due date calculator) starting a blog. Not to be cutesy and brag about how excited I am. But to make a documentation for myself of this unexpected time of my life. The ups and the downs. The truth about my pregnancy. What it is really like for me.