Bla Bla Bla

I have been totally depressed lately. I feel pretty awful most of the time. I don't know how I am going to get through the holidays where everyone is cheerful and I am supposed to be too. I swear that I feel lonely, but when I am around Brady everything appears so negative and I end up being mean to him. I feel like not leaving my bed ever again.
I don't really want to get on more antidepressants because Medicaid is not permanent and I don't want to deal with needing meds and med management and not having insurance.
I went to the OB today. I have lost 4 lbs? Since when, yesterday? I don't get all this weight loss/gain crap. I'm not going to worry about it. I am doing my best.
I now have pain in my left front-to-back crotch bone when I stand. It feels like I have been kicked and bruised there. Its been like that for about 2 weeks. They say its the cartilage loosening up to prepare for the baby to come through. It will probably only get worse until delivery. Oh Joy.
I feel bad that I am veing so negative, but thats just how I feel.

Ginormous!

I am not sure I want to keep growing. Pregnant bellies are starting to freak me out. I cannot bare to think of how large I am going to grow. I already can barely stand the sight of my big belly now. I've gained about 9 pounds in the last 5 weeks! But I guess that makes up for not gaining anything in the weeks before that. I'm right about at the average pregnancy weight gain for my 22 weeks now. But, hopefully I don't continue to grow at this rate. I'll take a pound a week max from now on thank you.

On another note, I feel the baby move daily. It feels weird. Kind of like big gas bubbles, but not in the usual gas spots and without the gas finding its way out.

I wish I were done already, or at least closer to being done. I know it will go fast, but I'm just not looking forward to the big uncomfortable phase. My friend Kelly is in her last month and she doesn't look like she's having fun. She doesn't even have regurgitation or reflux like I have. That lucky duck never even threw up. Hopefully I am rewarded for my ailments with a nice happy baby.

Ultrasound!

Today was the ultrasound and I loved it!!! I wanna do it again! Well except for the part where I had to drink 32 oz. of water and hold it till after the test. Our baby is sooooo cute! I can't wait to get her out and kiss her and squeeze her and love.... Did you catch that... She's a Girl!

Week 19

Regurgitation... yuck! I am no longer forcibly vomiting, yay! But, after eating I am constantly being revisited by my food in a milder manner. It is constantly climbing my throat and at the slightest burb, back in my mouth. It goes on for hours. So far I have not been able to follow the advice given to keep reflux at a minimum. They say eat small meals, but I have been starving for months. Now that I can eat without throwing up I have a hard time stopping before I am fully satisfied.
Now that I am eating my belly is becoming noticably bigger. I haven't felt it lately, but for a while there I could feel pain in my belly button from the stretching. I had a hernia repair right around there when I started high school, which didn't go so successful, so I have a lot of scar tissue that is protesting the transition to prego tummy.
My husband and I are getting very excited to find out the sex of our child! Shouldn't be long now.

Weight Gain

Just got finished with my nurse's house visit and guess what, I gained 4 pounds since our last visit a little over two weeks ago. She says that finally puts me in the acceptable range! Probably the only time I will ever celebrate weight gain and I will enjoy it while I can. Wahoo!

17 weeks

I have been feeling pretty good for the last couple days and have had a good appetite. Up to this point I haven't gained any weight (although it may look like it). I'm pretty sure that if I have more days like these last couple that will change pretty soon. Which is probably a good thing and will make my nurse happy, but I still dread it. I guess I hadn't mentioned my nurse till just now so I will explain that. As part of a program called Nurse/Family Partnership, I have a nurse named Marianne who comes out to my house every week and teaches me stuff (sometimes not even pertaining to pregnancy). She also weighs me and takes my blood pressure. It is free, so I figured "why not?". Sometimes we have some interesting conversation, but sometimes she is just boring and I wish she would hurry up, finish and leave. Fortunately, she says she is going to come every other week now instead of every week. She will continue to come once I have the baby and make sure that we are bonding well. She is also a certified lactation consultant so she can help me if I am having problems with that.

These past couple weeks Brady has been doing his Ob/Gyn rotation, which has been interesting to hear about. He has been a lot more interested in our pregnancy lately and we have been learning some things together when he is home. It is a busy profession, so he is called in a lot. Women are having babies all the time! Some people have wondered, since he is studying to be a doctor, if he is going to help deliver our baby. I don't think that he will. I would rather him fully take on the role of husband and labor partner and stay by my head. Plus, on a gross personal note, I don't want him to have to avoid the mental picture of my huge torn and bleeding vagina later on.

I am exciting that he is getting more exciting. We are getting pretty anxious to see what this baby is going to turn out to be. He is hoping for a girl. I always said I wanted all boys, but now I find that I don't mind either way. A girl would be just fine with me. I think that we will find out what it is at the beginning of December. So, not too much longer. What do you think that I am having?

New Record

Puke at 10pm! Thats a new record for the latest time of the day. But I think this time it was because I ate too much.