In with a blahhhhh

Well six weeks is here with a blaaa! In case you didn't understand that, that was the sound of my gagging in the toilet. Man do I feel nauseous.

Pretty Freaked Out!

So I pretty much lost my mind when I discovered that we make $300 more that what is allowed for Medicaid. I am still going to apply just in case they will let it slide, but boy am I freaked out. What will I do? I happened to mention in my Facebook status how freaked out I was without an explaination as to why, something along the lines of "I am so screwed. I can't believe this is happening to me. bla bla bla." Note to self: Keep that stuff to yourself unless you are ready to share the big P news. I started getting phone calls and numerous comments as to what was going on. I just need to take a deep breath and realize it will all work out somehow. By the way that new widjet on my blog that shows what my baby looks like right now is pretty creepy!! Ewww!

Minerals?

Today I went to the library and checked out a load of pregnancy books. After reading that a sign that your pregnant could be a metallic taste in your mouth, I had an "aha" moment. I remember my trip to Thermopolis mineral hot springs a few weeks ago. After spending some time in the mineral hot tub the night previous, I assumed that the mineral taste I had in my mouth was my mouth excreting the minerals it had absorbed during the dip. However, my husband did not have that taste in his mouth. It wasn't unpleasant, just odd. And it went away probably within a couple days. How weird that that could have been an indication that I was pregnant! Also this adds to the miraculousness of the pregnancy. I spend a lot of time in hot water that trip. Isn't that one of the things that makes you infertile or miscarry? It is absolutely amazing that the embryo survived that.
On a more private, probably shouldn't even be sharing it, note, I can remember the exact time of conception. Ironically my mate specifically said something to the effect of "I am going to give you a baby right now." Not that he hadn't said that before, but this time it actually came true. HaHaHa!

Fruit Smoothie Dispenser

Today I became a human fruit smoothie dispenser. The smoothie consisted of a banana, a nectarine, and a glass of grape juice. All eaten seperately, combined in the belly, and reemerging a wonderful shade and consistency. They were dispensed at such an intense speed that they exited both the mouth and the nose simultaneously.

Thats right!

As of Sunday, August 23, 2009, I am aware that I have been knocked up. I was not expecting it. I figured, through google research, that the reason my breasts ached constantly for weeks and I had those almost-that-time-of-the-month cramps that had persisted for the week previous was I must suffer from a hormonal imbalance. Pregnancy was nowhere in my range of possibilities. I would have thought I were going through early menopause before I thought of pregnant. Why you say? Well, it is basically impossible to tell when I am ovulating. My cycles can be anyone between 30-45 days. It seemed impossible for someone so irregular to ever time the deed just right, especially with a medical student for a mate. Way to busy to get busy. Doubly impossible for someone who was not even trying to time the dead.
So how did I ever find out? Well, during my recent trip to Utah my mom suggested that since I was heading to my dad's and would most likely find myself in the hot tub it would be best to test just in case. Wouldn't want to boil the poor thing on accident.
So, I peed on the stick and got a solid line and a faint line. What is with that!!! Was I kind of pregnant? My dad said "I think that is a no", but I remembered reading online in my hopeful days that any amount of that second line that exists had to come from the pregnancy hormone. I would pray that just a speck would show... but nope always negative. Fast forward to test two the next morning (they say the hormone is higher in the morning so I knew I would get a good answer then), the second line was darker but still faint. So here I am a few days later with test 3 (digital so that I can skip all that line nonsense) and it says PREGNANT.
I am not sure how I feel. Yes I want kids. But I wanted more control. When your trying to conceive I imagine succeeding is a much more exhilarating thing. But I wasn't trying; it just happened. I didn't succeed, it is just chance and partly miraculous. So I guess I am just amazed and scared. I don't have health insurance. I just recently moved to Wyoming so I don't know any doctors or women who have had babies here. What do I do? Will I even be able to get insurance with this "pre-existing condition"? I plan on applying for medicaid, so if all else fails hopefully I can fall back on it.
So here I am 5 weeks along (according to the Internet due date calculator) starting a blog. Not to be cutesy and brag about how excited I am. But to make a documentation for myself of this unexpected time of my life. The ups and the downs. The truth about my pregnancy. What it is really like for me.