I can still see you feet!

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction

Have you ever jumped into a pool that you thought was deep but wasn't and ended up hitting the bottom straight legged? If you have you know the sharp shocking pain that travels through your legs. That is what I would compare the pain I have been having in my crotch when I walk to. Not every step is all that bad. In fact, today it was pretty mild; but yesterday there were steps in which I thought I may drop to the floor. Unfortunately, yesterday was also the day that I was with Brady's family in Las Vegas. I felt like a major party kill. I was as slow as an elderly person and about as fun too. We had to get a taxi back to our car because I am such a handicap. They were really sweet and understanding. Pregnancy is so much fun!

People are starting to notice that I'm pregnant now. A lot of people were checking me out at the airport and I had my first stranger ask me when I was due in the airport bathroom. And its true what they say about everyone you know wanting to touch your stomach. Its like a pregnant belly is a magnet. It doesn't bother me as much as it bothers a lot of women I've talked to though. However, its just started and I've got about 4 months to go.

Bla Bla Bla

I have been totally depressed lately. I feel pretty awful most of the time. I don't know how I am going to get through the holidays where everyone is cheerful and I am supposed to be too. I swear that I feel lonely, but when I am around Brady everything appears so negative and I end up being mean to him. I feel like not leaving my bed ever again.
I don't really want to get on more antidepressants because Medicaid is not permanent and I don't want to deal with needing meds and med management and not having insurance.
I went to the OB today. I have lost 4 lbs? Since when, yesterday? I don't get all this weight loss/gain crap. I'm not going to worry about it. I am doing my best.
I now have pain in my left front-to-back crotch bone when I stand. It feels like I have been kicked and bruised there. Its been like that for about 2 weeks. They say its the cartilage loosening up to prepare for the baby to come through. It will probably only get worse until delivery. Oh Joy.
I feel bad that I am veing so negative, but thats just how I feel.

Ginormous!

I am not sure I want to keep growing. Pregnant bellies are starting to freak me out. I cannot bare to think of how large I am going to grow. I already can barely stand the sight of my big belly now. I've gained about 9 pounds in the last 5 weeks! But I guess that makes up for not gaining anything in the weeks before that. I'm right about at the average pregnancy weight gain for my 22 weeks now. But, hopefully I don't continue to grow at this rate. I'll take a pound a week max from now on thank you.

On another note, I feel the baby move daily. It feels weird. Kind of like big gas bubbles, but not in the usual gas spots and without the gas finding its way out.

I wish I were done already, or at least closer to being done. I know it will go fast, but I'm just not looking forward to the big uncomfortable phase. My friend Kelly is in her last month and she doesn't look like she's having fun. She doesn't even have regurgitation or reflux like I have. That lucky duck never even threw up. Hopefully I am rewarded for my ailments with a nice happy baby.

Ultrasound!

Today was the ultrasound and I loved it!!! I wanna do it again! Well except for the part where I had to drink 32 oz. of water and hold it till after the test. Our baby is sooooo cute! I can't wait to get her out and kiss her and squeeze her and love.... Did you catch that... She's a Girl!

Week 19

Regurgitation... yuck! I am no longer forcibly vomiting, yay! But, after eating I am constantly being revisited by my food in a milder manner. It is constantly climbing my throat and at the slightest burb, back in my mouth. It goes on for hours. So far I have not been able to follow the advice given to keep reflux at a minimum. They say eat small meals, but I have been starving for months. Now that I can eat without throwing up I have a hard time stopping before I am fully satisfied.
Now that I am eating my belly is becoming noticably bigger. I haven't felt it lately, but for a while there I could feel pain in my belly button from the stretching. I had a hernia repair right around there when I started high school, which didn't go so successful, so I have a lot of scar tissue that is protesting the transition to prego tummy.
My husband and I are getting very excited to find out the sex of our child! Shouldn't be long now.

Weight Gain

Just got finished with my nurse's house visit and guess what, I gained 4 pounds since our last visit a little over two weeks ago. She says that finally puts me in the acceptable range! Probably the only time I will ever celebrate weight gain and I will enjoy it while I can. Wahoo!

17 weeks

I have been feeling pretty good for the last couple days and have had a good appetite. Up to this point I haven't gained any weight (although it may look like it). I'm pretty sure that if I have more days like these last couple that will change pretty soon. Which is probably a good thing and will make my nurse happy, but I still dread it. I guess I hadn't mentioned my nurse till just now so I will explain that. As part of a program called Nurse/Family Partnership, I have a nurse named Marianne who comes out to my house every week and teaches me stuff (sometimes not even pertaining to pregnancy). She also weighs me and takes my blood pressure. It is free, so I figured "why not?". Sometimes we have some interesting conversation, but sometimes she is just boring and I wish she would hurry up, finish and leave. Fortunately, she says she is going to come every other week now instead of every week. She will continue to come once I have the baby and make sure that we are bonding well. She is also a certified lactation consultant so she can help me if I am having problems with that.

These past couple weeks Brady has been doing his Ob/Gyn rotation, which has been interesting to hear about. He has been a lot more interested in our pregnancy lately and we have been learning some things together when he is home. It is a busy profession, so he is called in a lot. Women are having babies all the time! Some people have wondered, since he is studying to be a doctor, if he is going to help deliver our baby. I don't think that he will. I would rather him fully take on the role of husband and labor partner and stay by my head. Plus, on a gross personal note, I don't want him to have to avoid the mental picture of my huge torn and bleeding vagina later on.

I am exciting that he is getting more exciting. We are getting pretty anxious to see what this baby is going to turn out to be. He is hoping for a girl. I always said I wanted all boys, but now I find that I don't mind either way. A girl would be just fine with me. I think that we will find out what it is at the beginning of December. So, not too much longer. What do you think that I am having?

New Record

Puke at 10pm! Thats a new record for the latest time of the day. But I think this time it was because I ate too much.

15 Week Update

The Pregnant Pukes are still around. Usually I only puke once a day though, about an hour after waking up. This past week I have experienced acid reflux and a little heartburn. I hate the feeling of food or acid climbing up your throat all the time. So far I have just been popping Tums for it, but do have some liquid antacid on hand just in case it gets intolerable.
My OB appointment on Monday was good. The doctor says that my uterus now feels like it corresponds to what it should for 15 weeks. I listened to the baby heartbeat for longer this time. He said that it was beating 152, which is normal. That's all I have to report.

Baby Bump or Constipation? You Decide.

13 weeks
8 weeks

Heartbeat!

I heard babies heartbeat today for the first time. I burst out laughing for some reason, but I am so relieved. I have had this fear that it wasn't really alive and now I know IT IS! The doctor says, for the due date, they go by the first day of the last menstrual cycle even if the periods are irregularly long like mine. So...that skips me forward a week to April 17, instead of April 26, my prior estimation. I have changed the baby widget to reflect this. I want to be on the same page as the doctor. Nonetheless, the doctor did say that my uterus is small for where I am in the pregnancy. He says it feels more like 10 weeks than 12. At week 20 when we do the ultrasound he says we will adjust the due date if we need to. By the way he looks a lot more like what I am comfortable having my doctor look like. He was not wearing western clothes like the doctor at the community center, so I think I will keep him. Yay I have a doctor and a baby with a heartbeat! Good day.

Trip to Colorado

Yesterday we got back from a weekend tip to visit with Brady's friend from Utah, Davey, who flew out to meet us in Broomfield, Colorado, where Brady's parents are living. It was a fun trip. We took the cog train near Colorado Springs to the top of Pike's Peak, which is 14,150 feet high. It was a lot more fun for me than hiking to the top. I am not a fan of hiking up. They had a little gift store and treat shop at the top to escape the negative two degree weather outside. I had chocolate donuts and hot chocolate. On the ride down I started to feel nauseous, but managed to hold down the hot chocolate climbing back up my throat until I got of the train and hid behind a big dumpster. Unfortunately, for the rest of the outing I had to wear a portion of my stomach contents on the bottom of my pant legs from the splash. We also visited the Garden of the Gods which was extremely cool and free. I couldn't believe the guy who was free climbing the rocks! So dangerous! It was a fun trip weekender. I always have a great time with Brady's family.

Yep Still Pregnant

The break is over.

The End?

I haven't trown up all week. Am I still pregnant?

Freak out!

So embarrassed in from of myself! I freaked out and threw stuff all over the house, kicking and screaming, because I couldn't find my keys and needed to go run an errand real fast. Got so upset that I began throwing up. Stupid keys were in my pocket.
And later that evening, after craving egg drop soup all day, I walked to a Chinese resaurant wich turned out to be closed and began bawling about it.

Please Don't Be My Doctor!

Yesterday I had my first visit to the doctors. They did a lot of questioning and some blood work. They also listened for a heart beat and did not get one yet. They say that my due date is April 17; however, I still believe it is later due to my long cycles. I am not at a regular OB/Gyn office which makes me uncomfortable. I am at the Community Health Center so the doctors are just family practice dudes and the doctor assigned to me is just a resident. I haven't actually seen him yet. The doctor that I did see was super weird looking. When I first saw him while I was in the waiting room I silently prayed that he wouldn't be my doctor. Straight from a western movie (boots, wranglers, leather stringy neck thingy with gun holster accesory to keep it fastened, two long hangy beard thingies on each side of his chin). The only doctor thing about him was the stethescope. I have this day-nightmare when looking at him of him doing a gyn exam or a sugery and his beards getting down in in the mess. I think that I am going to call around and see if I can't go someplace else where the doctors look more normal. I can do that now that I have MEDICAID!!!!! Thats right! I don't have to worry about that anymore. I am going to survive financially. Why stay at the ghetto community health center if I don't have to, right? I feel kind of bad saying that since one day my husband will be a resident and people will have to let him be their doctor before he becomes an official physician. Brady said he even has to do some rotations there later this year. But this is my first baby. Can't I be the practice rat later?! That is if there is a later. Mothers must forget all about this first trimester business or I don't see why anyone would do it again.
What else is new... I have the boobs of a Victoria's Secret model! Thats nice to look at, but why do they have to hurt so much! However, they don't hurt quite as much as they did that first month. So overall I would say I am looking pretty hot. I have lost a couple pounds due to the vomiting and haven't started to show any pregnancy signs on the outside. My shape is quite nice. The only downer is my face. I have acne and can't do much about it because acne medication isn't to be used during pregnancy.
I finished a great pregnancy book that I highly recommend. It is called The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. It cracked me up. There is nothing better than learning and being entertained at the same time.
Thats all for now.

Spagetti Yay!

I had two helping of Spagetti for dinner tonight about 2 hours ago and they remain in my belly. I am so happy!

Scratch my previous post

The smell of my own crap made me puke. Great ): It was nice while the vacation lasted.

Haven't vomited since Sunday morning!?

Not quite sure why its stopped, but its a nice vacation.

Pregnant Pukes

They need a new name for morning sickness. If that is the name, then that should be the only time the sickness is allowed to happen. I get sick then, but I get sick at noon, 3, and 7 too. So, my new name for it is The Pregnant Pukes. If anyone has any other suggestions let me know.
I thought I had gotten them nailed to predictability for a while there, no puking after 4 pm. But that changed yesterday when after the first morning puke I didn't puke again until evening, where I did so with a vengeance in the Perkin's bathroom. We are talked Exorcist propulsion, volume, and duration. Such force that after reaching the toilet with still more energy to burn it splooshed out onto the floor and my feet. Wow, don't ever think you are safe and drink a whole glass of Sprite!
An interesting thing I have found it that I do have a little control over when it happens sometimes. For example, later yesterday evening at Walmart I was able to change my mind mid-dry-heave when I realized that the bathroom there was even too dirty for such a foul act. I just decided I couldn't do it there and got up and left.
And much to my dismay, sitting around watching movies and taking it easy does not help the Pregnant Pukes. In fact, quite the opposite. I thought I was getting an excuse to do nothing, but to no avail. Doing stuff actually helps. Oh well, maybe when I get fat I can use that as my excuse.

No More Fat Days!

I went shopping with my friend Kelly who is also pregnant (I believe she is 22 weeks) at a store I think is called Motherhood and bought a few things and I had a realization. Why deal with regular pants ever? I can't believe we women have been subjecting outselves to non-expandable waist bands all these years. I mean who ever has a consistent waist line? Pants that fit in the morning need to be unbuttoned by dinner. Pregnant women get the luxory of jeans with elastic bellies. I plan on wearing these jeans as soon as possible! Who needs to wait till your showing to get in on these awesome clothes?! I might just wear these sorts of pants for the rest of my life. No more fat days! Free to bloat without fear!!

P.S. My toilet and I are getting really close these days.

In with a blahhhhh

Well six weeks is here with a blaaa! In case you didn't understand that, that was the sound of my gagging in the toilet. Man do I feel nauseous.

Pretty Freaked Out!

So I pretty much lost my mind when I discovered that we make $300 more that what is allowed for Medicaid. I am still going to apply just in case they will let it slide, but boy am I freaked out. What will I do? I happened to mention in my Facebook status how freaked out I was without an explaination as to why, something along the lines of "I am so screwed. I can't believe this is happening to me. bla bla bla." Note to self: Keep that stuff to yourself unless you are ready to share the big P news. I started getting phone calls and numerous comments as to what was going on. I just need to take a deep breath and realize it will all work out somehow. By the way that new widjet on my blog that shows what my baby looks like right now is pretty creepy!! Ewww!

Minerals?

Today I went to the library and checked out a load of pregnancy books. After reading that a sign that your pregnant could be a metallic taste in your mouth, I had an "aha" moment. I remember my trip to Thermopolis mineral hot springs a few weeks ago. After spending some time in the mineral hot tub the night previous, I assumed that the mineral taste I had in my mouth was my mouth excreting the minerals it had absorbed during the dip. However, my husband did not have that taste in his mouth. It wasn't unpleasant, just odd. And it went away probably within a couple days. How weird that that could have been an indication that I was pregnant! Also this adds to the miraculousness of the pregnancy. I spend a lot of time in hot water that trip. Isn't that one of the things that makes you infertile or miscarry? It is absolutely amazing that the embryo survived that.
On a more private, probably shouldn't even be sharing it, note, I can remember the exact time of conception. Ironically my mate specifically said something to the effect of "I am going to give you a baby right now." Not that he hadn't said that before, but this time it actually came true. HaHaHa!

Fruit Smoothie Dispenser

Today I became a human fruit smoothie dispenser. The smoothie consisted of a banana, a nectarine, and a glass of grape juice. All eaten seperately, combined in the belly, and reemerging a wonderful shade and consistency. They were dispensed at such an intense speed that they exited both the mouth and the nose simultaneously.

Thats right!

As of Sunday, August 23, 2009, I am aware that I have been knocked up. I was not expecting it. I figured, through google research, that the reason my breasts ached constantly for weeks and I had those almost-that-time-of-the-month cramps that had persisted for the week previous was I must suffer from a hormonal imbalance. Pregnancy was nowhere in my range of possibilities. I would have thought I were going through early menopause before I thought of pregnant. Why you say? Well, it is basically impossible to tell when I am ovulating. My cycles can be anyone between 30-45 days. It seemed impossible for someone so irregular to ever time the deed just right, especially with a medical student for a mate. Way to busy to get busy. Doubly impossible for someone who was not even trying to time the dead.
So how did I ever find out? Well, during my recent trip to Utah my mom suggested that since I was heading to my dad's and would most likely find myself in the hot tub it would be best to test just in case. Wouldn't want to boil the poor thing on accident.
So, I peed on the stick and got a solid line and a faint line. What is with that!!! Was I kind of pregnant? My dad said "I think that is a no", but I remembered reading online in my hopeful days that any amount of that second line that exists had to come from the pregnancy hormone. I would pray that just a speck would show... but nope always negative. Fast forward to test two the next morning (they say the hormone is higher in the morning so I knew I would get a good answer then), the second line was darker but still faint. So here I am a few days later with test 3 (digital so that I can skip all that line nonsense) and it says PREGNANT.
I am not sure how I feel. Yes I want kids. But I wanted more control. When your trying to conceive I imagine succeeding is a much more exhilarating thing. But I wasn't trying; it just happened. I didn't succeed, it is just chance and partly miraculous. So I guess I am just amazed and scared. I don't have health insurance. I just recently moved to Wyoming so I don't know any doctors or women who have had babies here. What do I do? Will I even be able to get insurance with this "pre-existing condition"? I plan on applying for medicaid, so if all else fails hopefully I can fall back on it.
So here I am 5 weeks along (according to the Internet due date calculator) starting a blog. Not to be cutesy and brag about how excited I am. But to make a documentation for myself of this unexpected time of my life. The ups and the downs. The truth about my pregnancy. What it is really like for me.